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Portfolio Link : https://sites.google.com/view/prestontaylorportfolio/story-1


Mario after he wins the battle to take Princess Peach back. Pixy.org

Comments

  1. Hello Preston! I actually read your original version of this story and gave some feedback under that post. I really enjoy they additions that you have made to your first version of the story. I really like your website layout as well! Let's see what feedback I can give you. One thing I would consider is putting the story title on the banner as well as the icon in the top right corner. Of course I know where to find your stories, but this will allow other people who are not familiar with the layout to better navigate your site. I also read Tiny Tales from the Ramayana so I can follow closely along with your story and see the similarities between your story and the book. With that said, one thing you could do is include more details about the original in your author's note. I say this because many people in the course selected other Ramayana options. Overall, I really like your site and story. Great job Preston!

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  2. I love your story Preston, it was really good as always. I love that you chose this story for your portfolio because it was very good. I love that you brought the Mario world into your story because I think that a lot of people know about Mario and many can relate to it. I must say that this story was more developed compare to the one on your original version. I think that you did not bring Yoshi into the story from the original post, so great job there.

    I think that all the dialogue are great in your story. It made sense and serve a purpose for the story. I saw that the story does not have a title, so I wonder what is it going to be?

    I always have a question about the story, since this is an extended version of the story, would you consider talk more about the battle between Mario and Bowser? I think that would make the story interesting

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  3. Hey Preston. I totally loved the re-framing of the Ramayana into a story about Mario. I agree that Luigi is very similar, as a character, to Lakshmana, really good casting choice there. The "recruitment" of Yoshi was a really nice touch too, and very amusing to read.

    Just a couple of things: for your Home Page, you might include some links or text or images underneath the header. I'm sure you're aware of it already, but the lower half of the page is pretty barren right now. For your story itself, it'd be really cool to flesh out the battle between Mario and Bowser - maybe Bowser throws a bunch of fireballs at Mario that he has to jump over, or Mario has to defeat him by finding a clever way to jump on his head?

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  4. Hi Preston! Great story! I like the layout of your page, it is very easy to use and looks great. The story that you chose for your portfolio was a great choice! I thought it was a great idea to incorporating Mario in your story. I feel as if most people know of Mario and using him in the story brings some sort of familiarity to readers. I like and agree on how you stated that Luigi is similar to Lakshmana. Overall, I think you did a great job on your story and the layout of the story. Th one thing I would say is on the homepage the bottom half is a little bare. I also believe that adding more details about the original story in your author note won’t hurt since not everyone read the story since we had different options. Overall, amazing job!

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  5. Hi Preston!
    I really like the design of your portfolio and the Mario theme! This makes your stories fun and interesting to read. I feel like this makes more people feel inclined to read you story because they are wondering how you could have possibly made it about Mario. I also think you have done a good job in your author's notes of explaining how the different epics can be viewed through these characters. However I would add a little bit more detail about the original stories and what specifically that you changed. Good job and good luck in the future!

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  6. Hey Preston! I really liked your re-telling of the Ramayana with different characters. The parallel between certain details and the overarching journey connects both the original story and your own narrative but changing the characters and the environment offers a lot of new creative liberty. I can see how Bowser parallels Ravana and Mario represents Rama; I also believe the strongest connection is between Sita and Princess Peach. Both characters are captured and taken hostage. They’re also both princesses and motivate the central protagonist to battle the evil villain. I like how you also included the gifts Mario and Luigi to parallel the boons that Rama and Lakshmana were given, and it would be interesting to go more in detail with the other gifts. What do they entail? How do they help Mario and Luigi in their journey? I think it’d also be cool if the star power-up represents astras, as both are powerful weapons! Overall, it was a great story.

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  7. Hey Preston!
    I really love how you link the Ramayana with Super Mario Bros. Thinking about it, I see the similarities, and putting both together was really clever! Your portfolio title also makes people want to read it since it’s Mario, and it also makes readers curious. People generally know him or/and love playing his game.
    What I could suggest you is to write a few sentences describing what this website about on your home page. Since the image on your homepage are Mario and his universe, are you going to include other stories with the Super Mario Bros parallel? There is only one story on your website, so I am logically expecting your future stories to be about Super Mario Bros because of your homepage image. It can be confusing.
    Overall, I find your story well-written, and I had fun reading it.
    Overall, your website and layout were clear and easy to navigate.
    Thanks for your stories, and I’m impatient to read your next stories!

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  8. Hi Preston!
    OH MY GOSH!!! I love that you used the Super Mario Bros platform for your story! I played every type of Mario Bros game when I was a kid with my big brother. We are very different people so it was one of the only ways we could bond! This story was SO creative. You did a great job relating Lakshima to Luigi as the sidekick in your story. To be completely honest, I do not have any suggestions for bettering/changing this story. I think you executed it perfectly. I know perfection is impossible, but my opinion is that you smashed it out of the park! I hope you stay with the Super Mario Bros trend because it is a great way to relate modern stories (I think a lot of people know) to the Ramayana! I am bookmarking your site to stay updated!

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